I Let It Fall

2011-11-11T14:47:00.001+08:00

O's not over yet. Soon it will. It's not over but I'm already nervous abt the results.

I hate this :/

I'm not that excited to know that it's gonna be over soon.

2011-10-04T23:24:00.003+08:00

It breaks me to know that the ones who've asked me if I'm alright or not, wasn't you. I have no idea how you've been doing so far. Could you pls update me at least?

I thought I was doing fine until I saw another post from you. Obviously my heart races like before and yes, my heart starts to ache once again to know that I still have no clue about it.

2011-10-04T23:12:00.003+08:00

I'm not sure if I'm able to accept anyone in my life, maybe not now. I don't need someone or anyone if they don't choose to stay.

It took me years, years and not months or days, for someone like him to win my heart and trusted him to take good care of it. So do you think it's easy for me to let anyone in again?

And I'm talking abt trust here, it's not something that I could decide within a day. Unless if you're telling me to accept someone who's bound to break and crush me in an instant. Because I believe I could find one of those heartbreakers easily nowadays.

To find someone like him it's.. Hais. I'll let Allah s.w.t decide what's best for me.

2011-09-25T21:47:00.004+08:00

I never would've made it very far
Cause you know you got the keys to my heart~

2011-09-10T20:59:00.008+08:00

Good guys…

1. Are first and foremost, gentlemen. They are polite, respectful, considerate and attentive to a woman’s needs. They open the door, pull her chair, lend their coat, offer to escort her home, pay for the dinner and kiss her goodbye on the cheek not on the lips. Good guys never cross the line of being inappropriate.

2. Sense a quality woman from miles. They adjust their approach accordingly because they realize the first impression is the most lasting one. What works with 90 % of the women they met before may not work with the 10 % of quality women out there. Good guys have a keen sense for those special women.

3. Are not intimidated by strong women. Good guys are not threatened by women who speak their minds, have different opinions, show passion or the causes they believe in or perhaps, earn more money than them. They see strong women as a gift to society because they are the ones who have the power to change things for the better.

4. Never EVER use cheese lines or compliments to approach a woman. The chances are she already knows she’s attractive and has heard it a million of times. Good guys don’t compliment physical attributes. They compliment woman’s mind…her intellect…or better yet…her soul!

5. They know that to keep a woman around, they have to stimulate ALL of her senses – physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. Good guys can satisfy a woman’s needs in every aspect of life and beyond.

4. Don’t ever rush physical intimacy. They understand the specialness of the act and prefer to invest in building the emotional and spiritual connections first. Once those two are established, the sexual connection will blow both of their minds away!

5. Make love to a woman’s soul at the same time as her body. Merging with her soul is their ultimate goal…not just a mere orgasm.

6. Are supportive to woman’s personal and career goals. They understand the importance of individual growth outside the relationship realm. Good guys see their woman’s success as their own success. Therefore, they prefer to encourage her to move forward as opposed to oppress her desires for expansion.

7. Write cards, send text messages, buy flowers and cook dinners for a woman as an act of thoughtfulness. Good guys don’t need an occasion to express their love. They just do it spontaneously.

8. Keep their word. If they promised to call, stop by, take you out or do anything else, they stick to their promise. If they are unable to fulfill their promise, good guys have a sensible explanation…not a lame excuse.

9. Are not jealous. Good guys don’t require for a woman to check with them every single hour, to give them detailed reports on who she’s speaking to on the phone, to document every one of her activities or to follow everywhere she goes. They are secure enough in themselves to need a constant reaffirmation of the status of their relationship.

10. Are a woman’s best friend! They know that to have a lasting relationship and consequently a lasting marriage, they have to build a solid base first…which is the friendship. Good guys are a woman’s Allie not her enemy in this crazy world.

11. Are in touch with their romantic side. They are not afraid to express their emotions, talk about their feelings, show their interest and do it in the most romantic ways possible. Good guys can make a woman’s heart melt from miles away just by opening their romantic side and letting the love flow.

12. Have achieved a balance in their lives on their own. Good guys have invested enough time in all aspects in their development – family, education, career, health, hobbies, interests and sports. They are happy with who they are and are satisfied with their lives.

13. Will find time and place for you no matter how busy and crazy their schedule may be. Good guys never use the excuse, “Sorry, but I was busy with work.” If they want to be with you, they will move mountains, sail oceans, cross continents, fly countries and do anything they can to be with their special woman.

14. Don’t use past relationship disappointments as excuses to why they don’t want to commit to a woman. What happened in the past, stays there. What’s important is the here and the now…and that is YOU!

15. Are funny, goofy and spontaneous. They can put a smile on your face and make you laugh without any effort. They can play goofy games with you without being immature. They can drop everything and take a road trip with you just because. The best memories are created in the spur of the moment and good guys are aware of that.

16. See their woman as the most beautiful, glorious, magnificent and unique woman in the entire Universe! Other beautiful women may catch a good guy’s eye but his heart and soul belong to her!

17. Love animals. They either own one or they just melt when they are around your puppy, your mother’s kitten or your friend’s bunny rabbit. Good guys who love animals show they are compassionate, loving, caring and considerate of other live beings in the world. That also means they will make awesome dads some day.

20. Have no ego. Good guys are humble guys. They don’t need to beat themselves in the chest to show they are better, stronger, smarter, more successful or more handsome than other men. The ego is the enemy of good guys and they usually have it under control.

2011-09-06T23:04:00.002+08:00

This is so true, found it on Tumblr. Jan is found guilty of doing this. ALWAYS.

We're girls.
We get jealous, we will hate that mother fucker who spams your facebook, we
tend to assume things, our imaginations go wild. Every second you take to reply,
thousands of things goes through our heads ; who you talking to? Is it that
mother fucker bitch? We start assuming, and this is when we get insecure. But
then.. we’ll try comfort ourselves, we’ll think back to our conversations and
make ourself believe you ain’t that type of guy. So don’t disappoint us

2011-09-05T22:51:00.002+08:00

" Within my book of memories
Are special thoughts of you.
And all the many nice things
You often say and do.

As I turn the pages
And recall each single thought,
I realize the happiness
That knowing you has brought.

There are memories of the times we've shared
Both bright and sunny days.
There are memories of your kindness
And your friendly thoughtful ways.

There are memories of all those texts,
we would write back and forth.
When we would just get together,
And talk of this or that.

And when I recall these memories
As I go along life's way,
I find they grow more precious still
With every passing day. "

2011-09-05T22:44:00.002+08:00

I'm tired of lying.. to everyone, to myself.
When I see you, I remember all that we went through.
It felt like you loved me one minute then the next, you hated my existence.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me
for I shall already have ~~forgotten~~ you.

But if each day
each hour
you feel that you are destined for me
you know where to find me

2011-09-05T22:39:00.002+08:00

What is love? Are your palms sweaty, is your heart
racing and is your voice caught within your chest? It isnt love, it's
like.
You cant keep your eyes or hands off them, am i right?
It isnt love, it's lust.
Are you proud and eager to show them offf? It isnt
love, it's pride.
Do you want them because you know they're there? It
isnt love, it's loneliness.
Are you there because it's what everyone wants? It isnt
love, it's loyalty.
Are you there because they kissed you or held your
hand? It isnt love, it's low confidence.
Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you
don't want to hurt them? It isnt love, it's pity.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your
heart skip a beat? It isnt love, it's infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care abt them?
It isnt love, it's friendship.
Do you tell them everyday that they are the only one
you think of? It isnt love, it's a lie.
Are you willing to give all your favourite things for
their sake? It isnt love, it's charity.

Does your heartache and break when they're sad? Then
it's love.
Do you cry for their pain even when they're strong?
Then it's love.
Do their eyes see your true heart and touch your soul
so deeply it hurts? Then it's love.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of
pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there? Then it's
love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of
who they are? Then it's love.
Are you attracted to others but stay with them
faithfully without regret? Then it's love.
Would you give them your heart ,your life,your death? Think abt it for a sec.

2011-09-05T22:35:00.002+08:00

"I don't think you ever really wanted me, you just didn’t want to be alone.
You couldn’t stand the sensation of loneliness running through your veins and I couldn’t stand not being a part of everything you were.
You never loved me, you loved the feeling of being loved.
You made me give up all I was to satisfy what you weren’t and everything that you didn’t have.
I can’t remember you ever mean what you say, only you lying through your teeth to spare me some heart break but only when you felt like it was necessary.
I can see the shapes of awful words fall from your perfect lips and I still want nothing more than to hold you against my chest and kiss your hair, letting you fall into me and cry on my shirt as I have done to you.
Now the roles are reversed and you spew me lies like ‘I’m okay, really.’ and ‘I don’t do it because I’m sad, I do it so I can see.’ but I was you and I know that’s bullshit.
You are capable of seeing everything, you see those flying colors and you always have but now you can’t live without the heat of floating through clouds burning through your skin and I know it feels beautiful but it’s always life ending and I wish I could save you.
I wish I could reach in and rip out what makes you ache so violently but I no longer have the privilege of seeing into your chest.
You’ve restricted me, cut me off and you only keep me here when you need attention that you don’t feel you are receiving. I won’t be your backseat lullaby in times of trouble for much longer, I tell myself this but I know there sits no truth in it and so do you because you see the strength of the strings you’ve tied me with and there is no breaking loose."

2011-09-05T22:32:00.002+08:00

" when you don't know whether you really like someone alot or you love them, ask yourself why do you love this person,and if you cant find an answer.. that's true love because then, its never ending no matter what changes about this person you will always love them. know that whatever happens he’ll always be there for you. that’s what happened to me. i realised i never truly knew why i love a person and i figured out that it's because it's true and sincere which means it can never break no matter what that person does to you. and even if we're not meant together, my love for you will never end. Instead, it'll last forever. "

2011-09-05T22:26:00.004+08:00

Title: [?]

intro:D,B,G,A

I'm sitting here alone,
gazing through the clouds,
thinking about you girl,
wishing you're right by my side

You're like the star,
and im like the moon,
let our heart shine together,
and darkness slowly fade away

Every night it seems that you're always,
appearing in my dreams,
it seems that you lock yourself in a room,
crying all by yourself

Looks like you're lonely,
you need somebody,
i'll make you show your lovely smile,
every single day

chorus:G,D,B,A

Even if i die,
ill wait for you,
till heaven,
i'll love you

Baby baby please,
dont run away,
till heaven,i
'll miss you.

--end--

HAHAHA! I found this on my desktop. This song was written either by Naen or Syaii. Forgot :/

2011-09-05T22:21:00.002+08:00

I miss him so much.
I went through a tough year moving on and putting on a brave face every time and every day. If only he knew how much I loved him. Oh Allah, I loved him so much with all my heart. I can never find a guy like him. Thank you for making one of my wishes happened.

Meeting him was fate.

If he is not meant for me Ya Allah, grant him another better and good Muslimah for him ya Allah.

2011-09-04T21:28:00.001+08:00

Draw the line and tell me, where do I stand in your life actually.

2011-08-31T01:02:00.007+08:00

Ohyeah, I'm the stupidfool baby.

Yes it's true. The only thing that's left to remind me of you is gone. I threw it away.

I didn't realise it was a mistake until she told me that I should've keep that thing which is the only thing you owned that's with me. No, I didn't threw it away because I was mad or angry or whatever but I just felt like I shouldn't keep it any longer.

I've told you that it was with me and you said that one day you'll come and collect it but I think that one day will never come.

I'm sorry.

I can't differentiate whether those words you've said meant something or merely nothing to you.

If you really think we're special, then what does it tell you abt us?

If you really think that you and I are acting the same way and always have the same thoughts, then why do you leave me hanging?

If you really think you need me to light up your life now and then, then isn't it obvious?
-

Idk how to feel anymore, seriously. I'm not totally pissed neither am I happy with what I saw. I felt a lil' stupid to think that you and I actually deserve a chance to be, you know. Ok maybe what I saw meant nothing because you've clearly stated that you just wanna be friends with her but.. I'm seriously f*cked up.

Is it time for me to let go? Has Allah reserved for me someone better? Are we just gonna be just friends?

So all these years of hoping and waiting has come to an end, is that it?

Come on, prove me wrong dude. Prove to me that you're unlike any other and if you can't, I'm sorry if I've expect a little too much from you.

I've tried so hard to work this out so that we won't lose what we have but it seems that you couldn't careless. You aren't putting as much effort as I do so whythefcuk would I still care?

I don't wanna say all this if I was treated the right way.

But I don't hate you laaaaaa or anything. Maybe disappointed? I know it's not easy for you either <3 (:

2011-08-28T00:31:00.003+08:00

Todaymorning-slash-yesterdaynight was totally fun. Thank Allah I made it to Qiyamullail if not, I'd have miss the opportunity to experience the serenity of staying up the whole morning doing prayers and du'a which can made you feel at ease throughout the Qiyamullail session.

So, I'm glad I've made it and with the enlightenment of my awesome peeps just made my whole day perfect.

Met them at 10+pm at Kovan McD and headed to McD Hg Ave 8 after that. Watched soccer match which ended at 2+am I think. Sth happened and I laughed till I cried. Just too funny. Okayye then we walked to Al-Mawaddah and did the prayers till 5am, followed by Sahur. Went to a nearby 7-11 and back to Mawaddah for Subuh.

OMG! This time, I was soothed by the Imam's voice when he recites the pure verses of the Quran. Totally mesmerised to the extent where I felt that I could burst into tears any moment. #too amazing till I was speechless

After that, Farhan, Faiz and Firdaus went to religious class straightaway at En-Naeem and Rafi went home shortly after that. So left with me, Ray and Dan.

Slacked, chitchat and pooof, homed by 8.30am.

My morning didn't come to a waste definitely.

Tk best kalau kene label byk sgt etc );

2011-08-22T00:01:00.002+08:00

After hearing and witnessing my friends who's having r'ship problems makes me think twice before falling into any serious commitment. But then I'm sososo proud of them because they're so patient with their partner *salute* Not many guys can be like them ok.

I can imagine myself with you in the same situation. But it's not that simple, isn't it?
Because when one party is at rage, anything can happen.
They tend to have an irrational way of thinking and do things without giving it a deep thought.

It's true we never had any serious conflict throughout these years. We have never fought. Instead, it was more of the playful kind of tease. Situation may change anytime once and if we're labelled as an item.

How you're treating me, Would it stay the same?

2011-08-15T23:51:00.002+08:00

17 times. Never in my life have I ever received this much on that day. That is so unlike him. I wonder, what has gotten into him. Like seriously?
Buang tebiat.

After I promised myself not to give in, I won. Hoho. He came searching for me this time.. He's not always like this but ohhwells.
Thank God he still have that sense of guilty and realised that I was mad at him. So yeah, I was deprived of sleep as a result of entertaining him through the night-slash-morning. Had only 2 hours of sleep and I swear, I couldn't imagine how on earth did I manage to stay awake in school the next day with only 2 hours of sleep. Awesome. But it was worth it (:

You have no idea how much it meant to me.

2011-08-12T23:50:00.000+08:00

I bet you still remember and hellyeaaaaaaaaah, I was right again.

2011-08-10T21:56:00.002+08:00

The reason wasn't because you've hurt me, no. You never did. It was because you've treated me so well and reality slapped me in the face with the fact that you and I are so close and full of memories yet still.. Friends.

I'm afraid that I'm not the reason why you smile or laugh anymore. I'm afraid that another girl might take over my place and then, I will not matter to you. You'd push me away from your life. Your feelings towards me might change, what if you begin to think I'm sucha bother in your life.

I don't wanna lose you. Tell me you're gonna stay forever.

When you said that one word I've been hoping to hear, I knew. I just knew you won't. But who knows, right?

2011-08-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

Okayye fine. If this silent treatment is what you're going to give me, I'm gonna accept it. I'm gonna delete your contacts so that I won't have the urge to text you. Let's see how far will it takes for you to realise and come back searching for me. Ohhwait, I don't think that'll happen.

Don't make me go to the extent where I will not give a damn abt you okayye. I've tried to be nasty but you told me that I'm not that mean enough, right?

So here it is. Gimme a chance to show you my nasty side.

I'm not gonna be nice to you anymore. Take this!

2011-08-09T18:28:00.000+08:00

If you think I'm tired of you, I wouldn't have replied to your text or entertain you and your crap. heh.

I wouldn't have even cared about you.

Basically I would've have just ignored you Bulb.

2011-08-09T00:57:00.000+08:00

There you go, are you satisfied now for the fact that I've shed another tear because of you?!

Apa lagi yg kau nak aku lakukan supaya kau sedar?

To think that you actually tried to find time to reply me despite of your hectic schedule but took a long time to do so, confuses me. ohgawdddd

2011-08-09T00:44:00.003+08:00

That hope I had since I've set my eyes upon you, it will ignite no matter how bad the situation might seem.

I felt sth different in me now. It doesn't hurt me like before. Yeah, I think it's because I'm used to it. Numb.

I really feel like 'killing' myself whenever I fail to attend to you right away because I don't wanna make you wait. And I know I might lose the opportunity to have a conversation with you. I hate it ok when it comes to this. Wasn't on purpose anyway.

But sometimes I tried telling myself to give it a try not to reply, I can't seem to myself into doing that. No. Yes I'm that weak when it comes to you. I don't wanna feel that tinge of regret of blowing that chance away..

I'll try so hard even if that means to use my Mum's phone, which you've already saved that no. Get caught alr but who cares.

Do you realise how much sacrifices I've made already? Do you know?

2011-07-22T21:38:00.002+08:00

Damn, I miss Hyqel.

Happy Belated Birthday! Kakak will always pray that you'll do well in your studies.

Hope you won't get angry at me when I stopped giving you tuition all of a sudden.

2011-07-22T21:25:00.000+08:00

Pengorbanan seorang adik untuk abang, tidak terkira.

I miss Brahhh laaaaaaaaa.

2011-07-22T21:15:00.002+08:00

Why are you treating them nicely despite the fact that you're unhappy with them? Anyway, I respected you for that because you did something no one else will.

C'mon, most guys will avoid them but you.. You didn't push them away just like that and still maintain that friendship with them. It just shows your character, the positive side.

I want to apologise if somehow, I wasn't there for you at any time. It breaks me to know how you really felt and I swear, eversince I've known you, all I want is for you to be happy. Even if your happiness doesn't lie with me. #just saying

You could've just told me.

I know that all these while, while you're trying to make other people happy, you didn't get happiness of your own.

You should've tell me.

But thank you, thank you for giving me a chance to be a part of your life and that, to be the light in you.

Two bulbs shine brighter than one baybehh ;D

Okayye, here's a post after sososooooooooooo long.

There you go Att. A post. But not abt the disappointment yet. HAHA

2011-07-17T21:26:00.003+08:00

Every seventeenth is significant to us.That's when you first started to acknowledge my presence and it's your big day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (:

Throughout those 39 months of whatever-ship you called it, never once have we fought or quarrelled. Instead, we shared every possible ups and downs and thanks for being there when I needed you. And also, for that 39 months I've been going against my feelings for you, which of course, is a tough ride for me.

All I know is that, I keep coming back to you. Idk why. Do you have the answer to that?

This year is different. I thought of not wanting to wish you to let you feel how it felt to be forgotten for a while since I've wished you every year w/o fail. Seriously, I just couldn't bring myself into doing that. I gave in to myself. I don't want you to think that I don't care abt you anymore when I actually do and always will.

What do I get?

From there, I understood why and I can accept that. But come to think of it, it hurts me. What if one day, we start to drift apart? I told you before, I can't bear losing you. Hope you'll rmbr that.

Everything you do will somehow or rather affect me, my whole self. You're worth my everything. Well, that's what I know of..

Now, all I've got to do is just hold all this feeling in. For how long? Idk when. I don't even think I have the courage to tell you for once abt how I really feel. I'm scared of what might happen if I do.

2011-05-08T21:21:00.002+08:00

He wished me a Happy Mother's Day.. So cute-slash-sweet la he. And I'm touched. lol?
Then he wished my mum.

I feel him. It must be disappointing and sad not to have the chance to meet your Mama. Patience, K (:
Thanks for spending a little of your precious time on me even though you had to rush back in to your camp today <3
Thank youuuu!
But still, I'm gonna miss you.

And the subject term you used, whuch is WE, kept me wondering..

Are we?

Oh, the strawberry ain't sweet enough though (; Haha, rmbr the promise ayye <3

Iloveyou,

Always do..

2011-04-17T22:14:00.001+08:00

evenwhenhedoesnttalktome,thereshappinessinsideme.becauseiknowhesthere.hispresencemademe.

2011-04-17T21:52:00.000+08:00

when home doesn't feel like home anymore..

2011-04-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

http://youtu.be/p3wTFQMWMG0

2011-04-17T21:50:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-aXbjZJEI8

2011-04-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z25I1KOB8OM&feature=related

2011-04-17T21:46:00.003+08:00

Fuhh~ There's dust accumulating in my blog. It's been a long time since I update this.. No one's gonna read this anyway but nehmindd. Life's been such an ass. Messed up, confused and stressss. MYE's coming sooooon. Too soon.

2011-03-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

don't ever mention that i don't understand. mind you!

2011-03-31T23:29:00.001+08:00

straight in ya faceeee!

2011-03-31T23:27:00.001+08:00

fine, i shall not rant anymore. but let me get this straight, it is NOT something that you could laugh at.

2011-03-31T23:26:00.001+08:00

otak taruk pt lutut. siaaaak. geram pe sia akuuuu!

2011-03-31T23:25:00.002+08:00

fcuking hurts me, right naoooo. WHAT'S SO GREAT ABT ALL THIS? you think this is a joke?

2011-03-31T23:24:00.001+08:00

thanks. because of you all, i've shed my tears.

2011-03-31T23:23:00.000+08:00

puckyoupuckyou. aslkdfnfkjeiowpkfj. somebody, help me. i can't take it!

2011-03-31T23:22:00.002+08:00

iduncare. go to hell with your explanations. wtf. sorry ain't enough. it's my pride that you're playing with, GET IT ASSHOLES?!?!

2011-03-31T23:20:00.001+08:00

fat hopes. idiot. i swear i'm not gonna smile tmr. fcuk you all. assholes. guys will be guys. nbcb

2011-03-18T22:22:00.001+08:00

baby, i'm loving how it feels

looking in your eyes

ooh, it sends me chills

all down my spine

2011-03-18T22:19:00.000+08:00

youknow what. i just love you to bits, K.

2011-03-18T22:14:00.001+08:00

i'm not prepared for another heartbreak. i don't wanna get disappointed by having high hopes. so, ya. i shall not expect anything from you.

but.. haiyaaaaa.

2011-03-18T22:08:00.003+08:00

you're my drug. irresistable and.. addictive. i can't go on without contacting you. i can't stand it. it's just two weeks and my hands kept fidgeting, having the urge to text you already.
alhamdulillah, you're home. well, for now.

2011-03-18T22:04:00.001+08:00

this feelings i had, is never the same like how i used to feel when i met you.
it will never be the same anymore. how sad.

2011-03-18T21:52:00.003+08:00

Ahhh! He surprised me with a text. He texted me once he reached home from his camp. SWEET KAN?

I swear I'm soooo proud of him, omg. Congratulations! :D

And he is so cute plsss. He made my day obviously.

Thank you. You've answered all my doubts. Such a relief~

I didn't regret sending those.

I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I guess I've not yet moving on.. DOTS.

I can't get you two out of my head.

Perhaps, 'he' is just my crush[?]

2011-03-06T21:39:00.000+08:00

the difference makes it worth it.

2011-03-06T21:38:00.001+08:00

LISTEN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1B8FkJkKmY

2011-03-06T21:37:00.002+08:00

another day, another waiting game.
i want to hope but sometimes i just don't know.
i know i'm not the only one.
so we sing a lullaby to the lonely hearts tonight~

just know there is a purpose
for those who wait.

2011-03-06T21:34:00.001+08:00

Another two years is..

2011-03-05T19:14:00.001+08:00

she noticed, friends noticed, he noticed, seems like everyone noticed.

hais.

i know right.

i am disturbed.

2011-03-04T19:12:00.001+08:00

Only I know myself the reason why for the sudden breakdown in school today.

I can't believe it.

Why would I?! It's not as if he..

2011-03-04T19:12:00.000+08:00

Today, starts a new beginning for me.. ):

2011-02-11T15:10:00.001+08:00

wash away all those guilt~
i'm here for you..

2011-02-07T19:07:00.002+08:00

I keep waiting for the moment you're going to man up and tell me , you've never love me before and never feel the same way I do.
That I'm not the only one that matters in your life. Tell me, I'm just an acquaintance in your life.

Not.

2011-02-07T19:03:00.002+08:00

Yet the more I forced myself not to think about him, the more powerful the images became

The point is, that there's no man alive who can honestly say those words and mean them. It just isn't possible, so there's no use trying.

But that doesn't mean that you should ever stop doing your best to let them know how important they are to you.

2011-02-07T19:01:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpI_WxtKUBk&feature=related

Listen.

2011-02-07T18:51:00.005+08:00

She views the world
through a prism of black and white,
right and wrong
-
Soon, just soon,
you'll be away, For 2 years. I don't know if I can hold on anymore, or
worse,
let it go without giving a fight. I keep asking myself what'd
happen
to us
during that span of time and after that.
Are we going to be
drifted apart? Or still continue like what we are now?
Or the best would
be, will our fate change?
I will always pray
for you. I swear I'm gonna be the happiest girl in the world if you'll
change.
Oh! And would be more happy if you'd want to continue to
study.
Remember what we have vowed, We're going to
go far together.
;D
I'm gonna help you
in every way I can, I promise. I don't mind going through all this hurdles
in
life with you. I want to be there for you, in times of joy and
sorrow.
Even if we're just
gonna be friends after all.
I would really
really really want to see you happy with your life and never regret all
those
actions you've taken.
I love you, more
than you'll ever imagine.
xoxo,
Jan

2011-01-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

I gotta admit, rumours spreads faster than the light.

2011-01-01T22:01:00.001+08:00

I've been wanting a beanie [or whatever it's called] for months. Saw it in Nu's blog, making me jealous. hahahaha

2011-01-01T21:28:00.006+08:00

Yeahh, true D:

Happy 2011 to all readers out there! Especially to all my beloved ones (:

There's a few things I'd like to bring out...

Firstly to the three of you [won't be listing out names] I appreciate all the things you've done :D And I don't want our friendship to end.

To A, I can't deny that I've been a judgmental person abt your behaviour. I know and am aware that you've changed, a LOT, even if it's for the worst, I know deep down you're still the fun-to-be-with and outgoing person I've known. I'm sorry.

To the other A, I know I'm sucha hard-headed person. Anyway, don't assume I'm angry or whatever when I'm not. You should know by now what'd make my patience tick off :D

*After I wrote this, pls eh, jgn kata yg kau suka assume, all those stuffs -.-*

Refrain frm being guilty all the time and overthink things [like what you've told me]

If it happenED, get over it.

Bare in mind that doesn't mean you can't make things right the nxt time, right?

Don't always care what other ppl MIGHT think/say of you.

I don't want you to let it overpower you and make you forget to fulfill your own happiness because you want to make others feel happy.

Never ever neglect your feelings pls. Last but not least, don't be afraid to love again * winks

To N, HEHEHE. I wanna pinch your chubby cheeks like wtf.

I've read your blog and agree with your 2011 motto 100% . *Prays hard you can achieve it! JY

Thank you for the years of friendship.

Oh c'mon, you're not a sucker for love.

Those jerks just don't know how to appreciate you and your presence as a whole. I repeat eh, they're jerks.

Hate them for breaking your heart.

To you too, don't be afraid to love again, because when God knows you're ready to love, he'll find you the Mr Right that you've been looking for ^^

Wish you three all the best for your future endeavours.

And to my gay partner, goshh.. I think I'm gonna say this..

I think we're better off being friends.

I love you too much till I don't want to lose our friendship, and I had to sacrifice my love.

Because I'm afraid of the upcoming consequences that I might face.

idk, i think i'm still in dilemma.

Once again, thank you lovelies for making my 2011 a memorable one (:

Much love, Jan

p/s: I love you all :D

2011 Resolution: Be patient,
everything will come in hand in the end (:

2010-12-25T22:10:00.001+08:00

Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other everyday.

2010-12-25T21:58:00.001+08:00

It's a slow unraveling.. of all that a person once was.

How many ppl are given that chance? To have someone you love fall in love with you over and over..?

2010-12-25T21:46:00.003+08:00

Yet the more I thought abt it, the more I sensed not only the displeasure in an absentminded lover, but the traces of a melancholy.

Like what I've expected, when I wanted to forget him, he always appear right in my mind.
I was wrong.
He made his first move today. Amin! :D

-

My FB chatbox popped right up when I wanted to click on the logout button. It was him.
It's weird. I felt the adrenaline rush in me, till it made my hand sweaty and so was I. The feeling is heavenly.. The same feeling I had when we had our first chat.

He asked me why I haven't sleep yet.
I told him, not unless you talk to me.
He told me he's aware of that, he knew it.
I asked how.
He said he purposely wanted to test me how long I'd stay online waiting for him..

I will, even if it takes forever.

Iloveyougay :D

2010-12-24T14:51:00.003+08:00

I'm still holding on.. Oh shucks.

Every 11:11 that I come across with, I wish the same thing even though the slightest part of me believe that it won't happen.

I was reading far more into the incident that it deserves

2010-12-24T14:47:00.002+08:00

I admit. My blog is dead unlike Nadd's Tumblr -.-" HAHAHA!

Anyway, I've been wanting to update but I'm plain lazy. Sorry yeah. I doubt anyone is reading my blog anyway.

This feeling.. It's just too overwhelming.

2010-12-13T12:20:00.002+08:00

Because I'm not the type of girl guys fall in love with

2010-12-13T12:16:00.002+08:00

I dreamt of him, surprisingly. He looked freaking sweet and charming *melts

I want to tell you something.. Real bad.

I will (:

2010-12-05T23:31:00.003+08:00

Sucker.
What a suckish day I had.

Bye Tom.
Sometimes I think that I hate you more than I love. I'm sorry. Seems like I've given you my everything but you returned me back with nothing. I am sad.

I need someone to talk to, real bad. I thought that I was happy with my life for once, but everything came crushing down in a second )':

I am scared. Scared of not being the greatest person you thought I once, was.

nbcb, fml.

2010-12-04T17:25:00.002+08:00

He txted me ystd :O :O :O
I am so sorry!

My mum saw it today and she nearlyyyyyyyyyyy know abt.. US.

--

Heh heh heh. Now, I've 2 FB account to manage; mine and his -.- (Y)

2010-12-03T22:33:00.002+08:00

CB SIA THIS GUY! Make me angry only! xD URGHHHHHHHHHH!

2010-12-03T22:15:00.003+08:00

Ok.. After the outing, the inside jokes seems to have an effect on everyone. I swear it's funny!
--
Second.
Yeahyeahyeah, I'm sarcastic. And you're vulgaristic. Yey, I've made a new word.
--
I like it how guys can be so open abt their relationship issues and share it. Seems easy for them to let it out.
Lesser dramas (Y) One of the reasons why I like guys.
--
If your friends don't, then who did? I'm sure sth must have happened till you have that kind of perspective.
To be continued, I wanna know!
--
Merepek sak! Might as well kau..
Nmpk nah sey kau..
Tkpe uh, mls nk berbual -.-"
--
All sealed :D

2010-12-03T22:11:00.002+08:00

'Tsk! *Jeling tajam maut punya* Kau gi panggil dier sendiri uh!'
HAHAHA. Inside joke. Sorry uh eh :/
Thank God, he don't have my blog link.
--
Went for netball and there's only 9 of us, pathetic much [?] Did our usual stuffs. Then when I did my push up, ade jeeeeeee org nk comment -.-"
--
Chatted with this guy frm my school, first time because didn't talk in school at all.
Ok.. It was funny. He thought that I was in sec 2 -.- And thought that I'm high on drugs/smoke/beer [?] AND call me an idiot. Walaoo.

2010-11-30T22:39:00.003+08:00

Okayye.. That's none of my AWESOME LOVELIES. Just the beach that matters.

Soooooooooooooooooo.. It was a blast with the LOVELIES. With a capital B! HAHA.

Awesome, I love you guys.

Okayye, so basically we went to Sentosa. Hehehh. Has thousand and one reasons to smile, laugh and joke about, go LMAO or ROFL, whichever you want, like seriously. Swam [only the boys], ate, chatted, joked, soccer-ed [ my other ankle hurts, thanks eh R!] , snapped epic pictures and etc.

After eating, wanted to go NEX but didn't because some need to go off early.

'One for all, all for one', katekan.

Something happened at MRT Station.

Otw home, sudden breakdown by N. Due to some issues. Calmed her down, wiped her tears and accompany her home till void deck.

Sidetrack a bit~~~ Seriously eh, jantan tu tk munasabah uh~~~Kayye, back. HEH

After that, lepak jap with R and F since R penat, nk duduk -.-

Seriously, kekek pe sia bila part storytelling psl relationship and zaman primary school

RABAK (Y)

Went out frm house at 10am , home sweet home at 10pm.

Tired uhhs but, it's all worth it :D

ILOVEYOUALL

2010-11-24T18:56:00.001+08:00

Okayye. His assumptions are driving me insane.

fml.
What if it's true.. But, no way. It seems impossible. ugh

2010-11-22T23:41:00.000+08:00

How I wish you're here, With me. Staring together at the full moon.

2010-11-17T21:58:00.002+08:00

I want a guy best friend.

Someone who will hug me tight when I'm down.

Someone who will beat up the guys who've hurt me.

Someone who knows every single details about me.

Someone who'll make me laugh till I cry.

Someone who I can be myself with.

Someone who won't cause so much fcuking drama.

Someone who I'll eventually fall in love with.

And someone who'll eventually love me back.

2010-11-16T22:38:00.003+08:00

I like it when guys kiss babies. SO CUTE.
And I'd love my future ehem, to gimme the chill and thrill just by kissing my forehead *insert heartsss

2010-11-16T22:07:00.001+08:00

You give me butterflies

2010-11-16T21:45:00.001+08:00

I love it when you share everything only with me (:

2010-11-16T21:40:00.001+08:00

Ok. I. Cried. During. Training.

Fcuking. Hurt. Me

2010-11-16T21:39:00.001+08:00

I dream, because there is no other way I can see it happen.

And every time I tried to move on, you're right there

2010-11-11T23:08:00.003+08:00

I hate to witness girls having their heart broken. Being a girl, you just happen to know and understand the kind of shit feeling they went through.
C'mon be strong lovesss :D We can made it through. We deserve better. Everything's gonna be all right in the end.

I just know it.

2010-11-10T00:12:00.001+08:00

I found him.

2010-11-07T16:59:00.001+08:00

you're not mine to lose

but I still feel like I'm losing you

2010-11-07T16:56:00.000+08:00

Youknow, the hunks in Vampire Diaries are sooooooooo.. *melts

2010-11-07T16:51:00.002+08:00

Got this from Shanky's FB.
It. Is. So. True.

What have you done to me. To make me fall so desperately.

What am I supposed to do. If I can't get over you.

And come to find that you don't feel the same.

2010-11-07T16:46:00.006+08:00

Had lots of fun with Hid,Sak and Aliyah lovesss on Thurs at Shabu-shi.

Lots of food.

Lots of plates piling up [ because we were having a mini competition among us three, haha ]

Lots of inside jokes.

Lots of laughter.

And lots of love,filling the air.

2010-11-06T16:09:00.001+08:00

I hesitated, aware there was more to his question than its innocence implied

2010-11-06T16:00:00.003+08:00

There are moments when I'm struck by a deep sense of wonder; it is usually simple things that I find strangely moving.

I can sometimes lose track of time when staring at a sky filled with wind-whipped clouds, find myself filled with longing though

I'm at a loss to tell you what it is that I feel my life is missing

2010-11-06T14:15:00.004+08:00

How long had it been. I wondered, since we'd laughed and joked like this? Even though I realized that it might only be temporary, it nonetheless stoked the small flame of hope I had begun to nurture in secret.

Something compels me to write this even though I'm not exactly sure where to begin. Nor, I realise, do I know exactly what to say, but I cannot escape the conclusion that after all these years, it's something I must do, not only for you but for myself as well.

Has it really been long? Though I know it has, the very thought is amazing to me. Some things, after all, have never changed. In the mornings, for instance, my first thoughts after waking are-and always have been-of you.

Throughout our 'relationship',as you call it. yoiu've been my dream and I'll never forget how lucky I've felt ever since the first day we met. I often think back on that day. It's an image that has never left me and I find myself experiencing a sense of deja-vu whenever lightning streaks across the sky. In those moments, it seems as if we're starting over once more, and couldn't imagine a life without you.

As each photograph came in, I tried to recall the moment in which it was taken. At first, my memory was like the snapshot itself-a brief, self-contained image- but I found that if I closed my eyes and concentrate, time would begin to roll backward. And in each instance, I remembered what I'd been thinking.

2010-11-02T20:51:00.000+08:00

Self-conscious and materialistic. UGH

2010-11-02T20:44:00.001+08:00

GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT LAA BEFORE YOU TALK!

2010-11-02T20:39:00.002+08:00

(Y)

It's NC 16, I know ^^ But I managed to watch it.

2010-10-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

I love K____ .

2010-10-22T20:12:00.000+08:00

OMG!

*inside joke

But seriously, oh-emm-geee!

THIS IS DAMN HILARIOUS!